Thursday, December 19, 2013

Those OTHER friend pictures! Say what!!!????!!!!

I believe I have discussed the whole relationship and having "friends" thing before.... But recently a different type situation was brought to my attention and I felt the need to blog about it. I want to see what my readers think.  The scenario: Jacob has a girlfriend.  She has a lot of male friends. He is ok with it, but he is NOT ok with the fact that her male friends send her pictures. Not just regular, I'm at the mall/ I have on my team jersey/ I'm with the family type pictures.  I'm talking about sexy, shirt off, questionable pose type pictures.  If it were reversed, probably at the same magnitude of a female sending a dude a as/body shot and not showing her face at all.  What Jacob did not like was the face that she defended her friend and said she sees nothing wrong with the pic.  Not only does she see nothing wrong, she saves the pictures on her phone and laptop.
  Now, my question to Jacob.....Are you sure they are just FRIENDS. He can only go by what she says. He has never met or talked to the guy.  In all honestly I feel the issue is his girlfriend not seeing anything wrong with the pictures.  If Jacob sent a girl "friend" of his "questionable" pictures, she thinks it would be wrong because he is in a relationship. But its ok for her to RECEIVE pictures because her friend is not in one. Helloooo!!!!YOU are in a relationship so why is it ok to receive as long as you not returning the favor of sending sexy pictures. Excuses Excuses!!
While I was discussing this with a friend she revealed that her boyfriend has pictures of his friends (some are booty shots where the females show no face). She feels that is they are a true friend and just a friend why the need to send ass shots and if he wants to respect her why does he even accept them and put his so called "friends" in their place from the jump. My reply....Because she been sending pics and he likes them. And she is not going to stop because she knows he likes them and has no respect for his relationship. 
I just know that with me .....I have male friends......I am in a relationship..... some of my male friends are in relationships....And I would not even start the drama of sending them sexy pics of me. I send regular everyday type pics.  But the sexy pics are for my man.....point blank period. And I already know that my male friends would question why I was sending them ass pics because we not even like that. Im sure most men love a good ass picture every now and then but in my opinion those pics should not come from your FRIENDS who you talk to all the time and you consider them to be just a friend.
 If you single cool......but stop disrespecting your woman/man and your relationship by allowing others outside to disrespect your relationship.  Its not the other persons fault.  Its the one who is in the relationship that's allowing it to happen.
But that's just my opinion!! Now I want to hear yours!!!! Comment and share your thoughts!!!!

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Defining Our Inner Demons.....

Defining Our Inner Demons.....

Watching Scandal the other night, I was inclined to question......... What "demons" do I struggle with. The scene between James and Daniel (Sally Langston's husband) was intense as Daniel asked James not to  publish the article about him being gay because it would hurt his wife's campaign. He told James that he was NOT gay and he struggled with temptations. He was a Christian and he don't do things like that and publishing that article would hurt his family. So basically,  struggling with his temptations for sleeping with men was Daniel's demon. There are people that struggle with demons everyday. Rather it be food, sex addition,  insecurities, anger, jealousy, drug addition, feelings of inferiority, etc. Anything that has a hold on you and you feel like you have to struggle  to deal with it, can be considered your inner demon.
The first thing is to recognize and admit to your demon(s) . Yes, some of us have more than one!  If you don't know what they are then you will never deal with them. Once you recognize and admit to them , then you have to confront them head on. You confront your demons by letting them know you recognize them and then finding way to combat them.
Find ways to be stronger than your inner demons

So...... say you think you are perfect, and feel you have no issues or inner demons. That's an issue in itself because no one is perfect. You thinking you are perfect may as well be your inner demon.  We all deal with something.....Even if its something  as simple as procrastination. What you should not  do is allow or continue to allow inner demons to have control over our lives.  Still wondering if you have inner demons .....take this simple test.  If you end up answering yes to 4 or more questions.... then its time to start to figure what it is in your life that is holding you back..
These demons give us excuses to be complacent or hold ourselves back. Or even affect our lives to a point where we can't move forward, be happy, have healthy relationships, or even enjoy life! To face our inner  demons is to face our own weaknesses and insecurities.

1.Do you feel you are merely existing, not really enjoying life to its fullest?

2.Do you feel powerless to change your course as if controlled by a strong negative force from within?

3.Do you crave wealth but feel something is stopping you from attaining it?

4.Do negative thoughts often seem to block out positive, happy images?

5.Do you feel you are a good person who deserves a far better fate than what you have experienced thus far?

6.Do you sometimes feel isolated, that no one really cares?
Next blog I would like to talk about ways to fight your inner demons once you recognize what they are.......
So tell me............... what are your inner demons?
Thanks for reading and commenting............

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Frenemies...... How many of us have them?

Frenemies ..... A term we hear that is used to describe a so called friend who in fact can also be classified as your enemy. I think it can be based on the saying 
"Sometimes your best friends can be your worst enemies "


In my opinion, this saying is true. Time, situations, and circumstances can turn someone who you thought was your best friend into a person you feel you have never known. We are human, and because of this we have feelings, emotions, and needs, wants, issues, etc that sometimes can get in the way of carrying out our duties to be a friend. Sometimes you confide in your friends for clarity, understanding, advice, or just to vent. We all do. We don't always agree or take the advice, but sometimes it's just nice to see your friends' views or opinions. But what happens when you don't agree or take the advice. Should there be jokes and ridicules about your situation. Or even go as far as Facebook and Instagram post from friends mocking the situation. Would you still consider that person your friend. And why would they go to such extremes to go Kevin Hart on you and Laugh at your Pain. Is it because they are drowning in their own misery and find comfort in knowing that they can laugh at your situation in order to feel better about themselves. Are they jealous? Is it that they are so unhappy themselves, it pleases them to know there is a bump in your road called life. Have their past experiences caused them to be so bitter and disconsolate that to even be optimistic or positive makes them cringe. Has this ever happened to you. And if so, how did it make you feel? Would you still confide in that friend again? Have you ever been a frenemy and didn't realize it? What are some of your "frenemy" stories? 
Everybody goes through  things at some point in life, and your friends should be there...if nothing more than to lend an ear. If your situation becomes a joke to your friends, then consider re-evaluating your friendships. You may learn that the one you call a friend is in reality..... a frenemy! 
So how do you spot these fake friends....... 
Check out the tips on the link below