Sunday, March 24, 2013

WHY DO WE SETTLE ????

Sitting here watching reruns of the hit show “The Game”! We know we all LOVED this show (before it moved to BET).  Well I’m watching the episode where Melanie just dropped off a bag of gifts for Derwin and Janay’s baby.  One item in the bag was that darn teddy bear that Janay HATES but is so sentimental to Derwin and Melanie.  Well that starts up a BIG argument in which Derwin and Janay realize that what they are doing is settling.  Derwin looks at it as being responsible and being there for his son, but all and all it’s still settling.  When you choose to be with someone and your heart is with somewhere else, you are settling! Point Blank! No if, ands or buts about it!

            So how many times have we done this in our life? If it’s a relationship, a job, an apartment, whatever……….WHY DO WE SETTLE???  Why can’t we just go for what we want and not settle for less, because in the end you still will be left empty and unsatisfied and sometimes you could even end up in bad situations.  I’ve settled before. In fact, I’ve settled a few times.  And it never turned out good!  At times I feel I am still settling in certain areas of my life!  Sometimes we do settle for a job that’s not fulfilling because we have bills to pay. Understandable….but what are you doing to get out of that slump of a job and into a career that you love? You may live in that neighborhood because it’s affordable but what’s your game plan on moving to an area that you want to live in? 
And lastly when it comes to love and relationships……Why are we settling??? Settling is a choice made from fear. Don’t choose to be in a relationship because you’re afraid to be alone, or because you’re afraid you won’t find someone better. Sometimes we settle because we are afraid that we are not good enough to attract someone who really cares about us and loves us. Why do we keep running back to that cheating mate….knowing if they truly loved you, they would not continue to cheat over and over and over……. And WHY do we choose to be with someone just so we don’t have to be alone?  I don’t know about you, but I know that from this point on I refuse to settle. I refuse to accept less than I know I deserve. I refuse to be “ok” with things that I know are just not right. Ladies and Gentlemen, please stop choosing to settle when you know you are well worth everything that your heart desires. So think about it…..what is it that YOU have been settling for???

11 comments:

  1. At this point in my life I am happy to say that I am not settling in any part of my life...but I have settled for less when it came to relationships. But I don't think I settled in fear I think I settled because it took me a while to know exactly what I want or don't want in a relationship. Once in a relationship then a realization comes in, I tried to stay in the relationship anyway. You are so right Collie nothing good comes out of settling. Know what you want in all phases of your life and work toward that Goal. #gogetit

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  2. I'm glad that you came to a point where you realized what you want or didn't want in a relationship. I hate when people talk about how unhappy they are and still they stay and settle for being unhappy! It makes no sense to me. I understand sometimes there are situations, but if you never do anything to resolve the situation and get out then you are settling. You are right, it's about knowing what you want and working towards getting it......

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  3. At this point in my life...I'm not settling!! I've done all of the settling that I'm gonna do!! I'll be single forever before I put up with crap! The end!

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    1. True! It takes going through and getting through when you finally get to the point where you refuse to settle any longer!

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  4. I have never settled in relationships but I have when it comes to jobs because hell...I needed money. Lol. But I do think that some settle because they feel their time is running out and they are eager to marry so they may as well marry who they are with. Or because they feel like they have wasted all of their time looking for the right one and he/she never shows so they just deal with the incompatibles. That's just my opinion.

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    1. I agree Mis. Especially as we get older, it's like we tend to feel that if we haven't gotten what we want at this point.....then it's time to just settle for whatever. But I myself don't want to do that. If I'm 40 and still single....so be it. Because my first concern is my happiness. And I don't want to be with someone just to say hey....I got somebody. I truly want to be happy!

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  5. I realized, I covered up that I was settling by feeling the need to remain in situations due to feeling guilty or not wanting others to think negative of me.

    At this stage in my life, I realized I have to stop the MADNESS and live for me and do what makes me happy in the arena of personal relationships with men and women. If I am single or have a few loyal friends for ever, I am ok with that. But I refuse to settle to make another person feel comfortable or play down my success/desire of a quality lifestyle. I also now know what I deserve and my worth and sh*&t they gonna talk no matter what. So, I will give them something to talk about!!!

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    1. Exactly! Know your worth! Because when you don't know your worth you end up on the clearance rack instead of behind the glass where you belong! I love that you finally realized what was going on and able to stop the madness!

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  6. Often times, even before fear sets in, many people have allowed others and circumstances to, metaphorically, reduce their worth and make them somehow feel "less than". It is not until we KNOW our true worth that we can even allow our true selves the opportunity to determine what we like and don't like...what we want and don't want. Until we have mastered self-love, settling will always be an option.

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